Survival Tips from Unit 309A: Renovation Edition

“You cannot always control what happens, but you can always control how you respond.”

Back in August, Michael and I boldly launched into a total condo renovation. The plan? Wrap it up by November 1, pop the champagne, and glide into our new place like a couple of HGTV superstars. Reality check: HGTV hasn’t called—unless they’re casting America’s Funniest Renovation Fails.

Since then, it’s been setback after setback. Deadlines have evaporated, contractor has redefined the word “almost,” and our current space has a ticking clock over our heads. At this point, the only thing finished on schedule is our patience.

But here’s the kicker: while we can’t control the chaos, we can control how we respond. So instead of despair, we’re leaning into humor, cocktails, and a growing list of “Condo Survival Tips”:

Condo Survival Tips (so far)

• Always keep a backup bottle of vodka- top shelf splurge. Contractors may run late, but happy hour is always on time.

• Never trust “just one more week.” In renovation-speak, that’s code for “see you in 2026.”

• Measure twice, expect delays thrice.

• Laugh at the mess. Dust is temporary, but the stories are forever.

• Cocktails cure drywall blues. (Time for my Naughty Santa recipe to work overtime.)

So yes, the finish line is blurry, but our response is clear: keep laughing, keep adapting, and keep reminding ourselves that the best renovations—like the best lives—are built not just on plans, but on how you handle the surprises.

And when the dust finally settles, we’ll have more than a condo—we’ll have a comedy special ready to pitch.